Probablythemostimportantthingkidslearnishowtohavepeerrelationships.Asaparent,youcan'tdothis,becauseyouandyourchildaren'tequals.
Forexample,whenyou'resittingonyourfamilyroomfloorandyourveryyoungchildasksyoutopasshimtheblocks,youprobablyhandthemrightover.Ifyourchildissittingwithapeerandasksthesamething,though,hemightnotgetwhathewants.
Tosucceed,yourchildwillneedtolearnstrategiesforgettingwhathewants.Forexample,hemightsimplyyankthetoyoutofhisfriend'shand.Ifhedoesthat,hemaylearnthatit'snotthebestwayofgettingwhathewantsbecauseitleadstofightingandtime-outs.Thesuccessfulchildwilllearnthatheneedstonegotiateatrade,towaitpatiently,ortofindsomethingelseequallyfuntoplaywith.
Friendsalsoprovideemotionalsupport,somethingthatispartofthefoundationofhealthyadulthood.Youcan'tbewithyourchildontheelementaryschoolplaygroundoratthehighschooldance.Yourchild'sfriendswillbetheonestostickupforher,toincludeheringames,andlater,totellhershelooksgreatevenifherlousypromdatewandersoffinsteadofdancingwithher.
Friendsalsohelpyourchildrenlearn.Friendssolveproblemstogether,imitateeachother,andpassonknowledge(suchashowtojumpropeorspeakpig-Latin).
Someexpertsbelievethatthesinglebiggestpredictorofyourchild'ssuccesslaterinlifeisherabilitytomakefriends.Infact,theyclaimit'sevenmoreimportantthanIQandgrades.
Thisdoesn'tmeanthatthekidswhoaremostpopularinschooldothebestlateroninlife.Whatmattersisnotthenumberoffriendsachildhasbutratherthequalityoftherelationships.
ThisisgoodnewsforthoseofuswhohatetothinkthatpopularityreallyistheHolyGrailofchildhoodandadolescence.Whileit'struethatpopularityhasmanyadvantages,andthatmanypopularkidsreallyarenicepeople--andnotjustthebestdressedorbestlooking--it'sbettertohaveafewgoodfriendsthantohavetheadmirationofthemasses.