英汉笑话大全！！！

  HUNG · 2008-07-01 22:24 · 141886 次点击

Manyyearsafterreceivingmygraduatedegree,IreturnedtotheStateUniversityofNewYorkatBinghamtonasafacultymember.Onedayinacrowdedelevator,someoneremarkedonitsinefficiency.Isaidtheelevatorshadnotchangedinthe20yearssinceIbeganthereasastudent.
获取研究生学位多年以后，我回到位于宾翰顿的纽约州立大学当教员。一天，电梯里很拥挤，有人抱怨电梯效率太低。我说自我在那里当学生起，20年来电梯一直没有换过。
Whenthedoorfinallyopened,Ifeltacompassionatepatonmyback,andturnedtoseeanelderlynunsmilingatme."You'llgetthatdegree,dear,"shewhispered."Perseveranceisavirtue."
最后当电梯门打开时，我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下，回过头来我看到一位年长的修女正在朝我微笑。"你会拿到学位的，亲爱的，"她低声说道："坚持不懈是一种美德。"

 考试, 英汉, 笑话大全

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HUNG 2008-07-01 22:29: The squad were having "visual training". One smart recruit was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant field. The party was so far away that the men appeared as mere dots, but unhesitatingly the recruit replied:

班里正在进行"视力训练"。一个聪明伶俐的新兵被班长叫出来数远处旷野上采掘队的人数。采掘队在很远的地方，那些人看起来只是一些小点儿。但是这个新兵毫不犹豫的回答:

"Sexteen men and a sergeant, sir."

"十六个士兵和一个中士，长官。"

"Right; but how do you know there's a sergeant there?"

"正确。可你如何知道那儿有一个中士？"

"He's not doing any digging, sir."

"他不干活，长官。"

HUNG 2008-07-01 22:28: A novice lion tamer was being interviewed.
一位驯狮新手正在接受采访。
"I understand your father was also a lion tamer," the reporter queried. "
我知道你的父亲也是个驯狮手，"记者说。
"Yes, he was," the man replied. "
他过去是。"那人回答说。
"Do you actually put your head in the lion's mouth?"
"你真的把头伸进过狮子的嘴里吗？"
"I did it only once," said the new tamer, "to look for Dad."
"只有一次，"那位驯狮新手说，"为了找我爸爸。"

HUNG 2008-07-01 22:28: At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters. A hush fell in anticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.

在一场世界最佳击剑手表演中，排名第三的击剑手上场了。一只苍蝇放了出来，剑划了一个弧，他将苍蝇劈成了两半。观众欢呼起来。紧接着排名第二的人将一只苍蝇切成了四半。现场一阵沉默，人们期盼着世界上最伟大的击剑手出场。

His blade came down in a mighty arc - but the insect continued on its way! The crowd was aghast. The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely, yet he continued to smile.

他的剑锋以一个巨大的弧线划了下来－－然而那只昆虫还在继续飞行!观众被惊呆了。最伟大的击剑手完全错过了他的目标，然而他还在微笑着。

"Why are you so happy?" someone yelled. "You missed!"

"你为什么这么高兴？"

有人嚷道，"你没击中!"

"Ah," replied the swordsman, "you weren't watching very carefully. They fly lives, yes - but he will never be a father."

"啊，"剑手答道，"你刚才没有很仔细地看。苍蝇还活着，是的－－但他永远也做不成爸爸了。"

HUNG 2008-07-01 22:27: "There's good news and bad news," the divorce lawyer told his client. "

有好消息，也有坏消息，"离婚律师告诉他的当事人。

"I could sure use some good news," sighed the client. "What's it?"

"我总能利用一些好消息吧，"当事人吧了口气说，"是什么好消息？"

"Your wife isn't demanding that your future inheritances be included in the settlement."

"你妻子没有要求将你未来的继承财产也划入裁决的范围。"

"And the bad news?"

"那么坏消息呢？"

"After the divorce, she's marrying your father."

"离婚以后，她将与你父亲结婚。"

HUNG 2008-07-01 22:25: "We have a skunk in the basement," shrieked the caller to the police dispatcher. "How can we get it out?"
"我们的地下室里有一只臭鼬，"打电话的人对警察调度员尖叫道。"我们怎样才能把它弄出来？"
"Take some bread crumbs," said the dispatcher, "and put down a trail from the basement out to the back yard. Then leave the cellar door open."
"弄一些面包屑，"调度员说，"从地下室往外铺一条小道直到后院。然后将地下室的门打开。
" Sometime later the resident called back. "Did you get rid of it?" asked the dispatcher.
一段时间后，那位居民又将电话打了回来。"你们将它弄出来了吗？"调度员问。
"No," replied the caller. "Now I have two skunks in there!"
"没有，"打电话的人答道，"现在那儿有两只臭鼬了。"

英汉笑话大全！！！

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